Avery’s only been with us for 48 hours, but I already have so much to write about. While I need a bit more energy to recount my labor/delivery experience (let’s just say it was very, very different than what I had expected), I will share that I didn’t feel terribly bonded to Avery right from the start. I was happy to see her, of course, and I marveled over her pink cheeks, sweet baby noises, and intact nose (Zoe’s, as you might remember, was quite squashed) – but I didn’t feel that rush of mad-love like I did when I first met Zoe. “I just don’t feel that connected to her,” I’ve said to Q several times since Fri. night. “I like her, but I don’t really feel like she’s mine.” I wondered if it was because she seemed so different than newborn-Zoe or because I was still trying to process/recover from a very emotional labor.

Whatever it was, there was a definite shift early this morning, when the nurse brought her to me for a feeding. Curled up beside me on the bed, Avery had her snack and then fell asleep; when I woke up a few hours later and felt her little body pressed against mine and heard her little baby coos, I was hooked. A little snuggling was all it took for it to hit me: she is mine, and I’m one lucky mama!

-M

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 21st, 2009 at 5:00 pm and is filed under 35.The Poppy Years. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.