A few thoughts on parenting and life with two little girls…

-It’s been almost six years since I’ve been on a 80% work schedule, and for a long time my Fridays – designed to be totally uninterrupted time with the girls - felt like a kind of mini-vacation. In recent months, though, my Fridays have started to fill up with appointments, errands, paperwork and lots of driving (some days I find myself taking three separate trips to school or camp); they don’t feel as much like “time off” anymore. I don’t mean to complain – I’m still eternally grateful that I’ve had this schedule – but I do sometimes long for those days when the only thing on my Friday agenda was a playdate or a stroll around the neighborhood with my baby.

-Speaking of all the running around: Right before we went to Phoenix I was feeling super drained. My physical exhaustion – from newborn-induced sleep deprivation – is long gone, but the emotional exhaustion seems to be sticking around. I thought it would get easier (i.e. I would feel less tired) as the kids get older – but I’m slowing realizing that might not be the case. On most days, I feel like there is more work to do with older kids, not less. (Why didn’t anyone ever tell me??)

-A friend with older girls once told me that she made a mistake when she was younger by always getting involved with their disagreements. Her words have stuck with me ever since, and so I try to be somewhat hands-off when it comes to the girls’ conflicts. When, for example, Avery runs up to me and says, “Zoe took (X) from me,” I tell her that she needs to work it out with her sister. And if they’re fighting over a toy, I usually tell both of them that they need to come up with some sort of resolution or they won’t be able to play with that toy anymore. This isn’t an easy thing to do, and it’s not always appropriate (if one of the girls does something more serious, like pushes or hits, I’ll intervene right away), but I’m hoping it will teach the girls conflict-resolution skills and prevent them from putting me in the middle of (more serious) argument when they’re teenagers.

-There are many things I don’t do right, but one thing I’m proud of is the fact that we rarely (never) use TV as a babysitter. (Our kids, in fact, don’t watch that much TV; I was shocked when I read just how much this differs from other kids.) It can be really tempting, especially after a long/bad day, to turn on the TV and divert the kids’ attention away from you, but I’ve just never gotten into the habit. I’d rather have them doing a craft project on their own, or even playing together and bickering (see above)…

-A few weeks ago I was sitting in our front room when I heard Zoe shout from the other room, “Don’t do that! That’s really bad!” I assumed she was talking to her sister and got up to see what was going on, and I was surprised to discover Zoe was talking to her “stuffies,” not her sister. It turns out she was just playing Mommy, and her tone and words got me to thinking. Is that what I sound like? Should I perhaps be more gentle when talking with (and reprimanding) the girls? Leave it to a kid to provide a reality check!

-M

As you may know, I hate losing things. I was driven crazy when we lost a pair of Zoe’s goggles and Avery’s heart-shaped sunglasses – which, we’ve since determined, were likely tossed somewhere by Avery when we weren’t looking - during our May trip to Phoenix. (“It’s like we lost a piece of her childhood,” I dramatically told Q about Avery.) And the girls have seen me semi-panic about missing items on other occasions, too. (I know I shouldn’t freak out about this stuff; I’m working on it.)

Flash-forward, then, to one day of our recent trip, when Zoe suddenly couldn’t find her goggles. We were all in the pool and begin looking around, and our friend Secoya called out, “I have them!” We all thanked Secoya, telling her she had saved the day, and Zoe piped up, “Technically, you saved Mommy’s day.”

-M

A few videos of the girls in the pool last week. Pretty typical of our time there: Zoe doing laps, and Avery goofing or floating around.

-M

So our Phoenix trip was quite similar to our past trips there: We mostly swam, floated and lounged around pools, then visited cool malls when we needed a break from the sun. What made this trip a bit different, though, was that we went with another family (friends of ours and their two kids) and the girls loved having two more built-in playmates! I have a feeling more multi-family trips are in our future…

-M

We’ve spent most of this last week in Phoenix, as part of our annual 4th-of-July trip there. More photos to come; for now, here’s my favorite poolside pic of the girls.

-M

Need more proof that we’re related to monkeys? Then check out this video of Avery (very carefully) opening up and eating a peanut.

-M

Though her sister had favorite shows by the age of two, Avery – much to my surprise and delight - has mostly been uninterested in television and movies. Avery will jump into our bed to watch a show with Zoe at bedtime each night, but after a few minutes she usually gets bored and comes out of the room to see what Q and I are doing.

The exception, though, is Dolphin Tale. Q first screened the movie for the girls a month or two ago – and they loved it. The plot involves older kids and adults (not a 3-year-old in sight), and the movie includes a few sad/potentially scary scenes, but these things are no concern for Avery. She was captivated from the first viewing, and she now frequently mentions the movie’s (real-life) star, Winter, and asks to watch the movie.

Avery’s love for Winter’s story leaves me with two thoughts: We need to bring the movie on our next flight (I can’t think of anything else that holds her interest for this long), and it may be time to think about a trip to Sea World!

-M

A few recent pics that haven’t yet been shared…

-M

The girls’ preschool is very San Francisco Giant-friendly – many of the teachers are big fans and regularly wear Giants clothing, the school often has designated Giants or orange-and-black days, and the director has even said blessings for the team during Shabbat. With all that focus on San Francisco, I shouldn’t have been surprised with what happened at camp last week. During an all-camp assembly the director brought up 4th of July and asked the children which country was having a birthday. “San Francisco!” the kids all yelled back to her. (Er, perhaps some geography lessons are in store for these little ones.)

Regardless: Happy 4th of July, everyone!

-M

I’ve written before about how Mommy-like Zoe can be. She was at it again this weekend, telling Q that she was concerned about our upcoming trip because of her fish Talia. “She’s going to be so sad,” she told him. “She’s used to me being here when I come home from camp.” And later that night, Zoe also expressed other, more general concerns about Talia. “I’m worried about my fish – she just doesn’t sleep enough,” she sighed.

She certainly has the worrying part of being a mom down!

-M

While at a birthday party yesterday, the girls got to experience a hurricane “simulator” – where 80-mph “winds” are pumped into a closet-like room. Zoe, in particular, loved it – jumping up and down while inside, waiting in it with her little friends in hopes that someone would put in the required $2 to start it up, and subsequently calling out to any nearby adults, “We need cash!” (Slightly horrified by her pleas, I assured the other parents that she hadn’t learned that phrase from me!)

-M

No matter how many times thev’ve had it done at birthday parties or fairs, kids always seem to get excited over face-painting. And I must admit, even I was happy about the paint job Avery received at a birthday party yesterday morning. She made a pretty convincing cat!

-M