I found myself reminiscing this morning. I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and listening to the baby’s heartbeat at my weekly appointment when I started thinking back to my very first trip to the OB. The doctor thought something didn’t feel quite right and sent me down to Radiology to get an ultrasound. She was concerned that I was having an ectopic pregnancy, and I remember being really afraid to look at the monitor once the technician started his work. (I didn’t want to have to see the baby if it was in the wrong place!) “Do you want to see your baby?” he asked me after a few minutes, and I quietly asked, “Is it where it’s supposed to be?” It was indeed, and when I turned to the screen, I saw a steady little flicker of light. The heartbeat. It was amazing to see, and it was that moment that I thought, “Wow. There’s no turning back now. I’m really having a baby.” 

That day seems like so long ago – and, in retrospect, I was barely pregnant then! I kind of laughed to myself when I left the appointment today and passed a woman and her husband talking to the nurse about some upcoming test. “We’re going on 13 weeks pregnant,” she said, and I just thought, “13 weeks is nothing! You’ve got soooo far to go.” (I also thought, ‘who is this ‘we’ she’s referring to? Can men now have babies, too?’ But that’s a different post.) I just feel like we’ve been through so much since those early weeks… 

I should tell you a little bit more about today. My doctor’s appointment went well, and the baby looks good. (This is now the third time Sesame has spread her legs – in a very un-ladylike fashion – for the technician, so I’m feeling increasingly confident about referring to the baby as “she.”) I also had blood work done, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my platelet counts are where we need them to be!  Physically, I’m feeling as one would expect a pregnant woman at this stage to feel. I’m kinda tired and achy (I didn’t know feet could get that big or throb that much!!), and I haven’t been sleeping that well. Emotionally, I’ve hit the grumpy and hormonal stage of pregnancy. (Q would argue, I think, that this isn’t the first time we’ve seen this stage.) I’m not depressed or weepy – but I AM incredibly grumpy and prone to ridiculous meltdowns over ridiculous things. Getting upset over not being able to find parking before my doctor’s appointment was today’s big “event.” I’m hoping I’ll be back to my normal, non-hormonal self (albeit, a sleep-deprived version of myself) after the baby is here. In the meantime, please be extra-nice to Q. He deserves it – believe me! 

-M

 

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