Feb. 26 has been circled on my calendar for many months. That date marks the official end of my maternity leave; I am, indeed, starting work this week. (I start on Thursday.) Although I’m working just two days for the next four weeks (before returning to a fuller schedule in late March), I view this as the start of a new chapter for Zoe and me. And over the past few days I’ve given a lot of thought to our time together these past few months.

The months I spent with Zoe were so much more rewarding – and fun – than I thought they would be. I had, quite honestly, expected the worst about maternity leave. I was afraid I would get no sleep and have no fun and never have a chance to shower or do anything on my own; I was afraid I would have difficulty soothing a constantly crying baby. The reality was quite different. I didn’t always get a lot of sleep, and Zoe wasn’t always the happiest baby, but we managed to have a good time together. The two of us developed a little routine, and we found ourselves out-and-about (usually walking, running errands or shopping) more frequently than I had anticipated. I had never had such a reliable companion before, and I quickly grew to love her constant, quiet presence.

In fact, when I look back upon my leave, I think the companionship is what I’ll remember (and miss) the most. Although I had been concerned (pre-Zoe) that having a baby would be somewhat of a burden, I actually wound up embracing the fact that I always had someone there with me.

I know it will be hard the first few times I drive to Stanford and see an empty backseat in my rearview mirror. (I have a lump in my throat just thinking about it.) But I also know it will feel good to get back in the swing of things at work, and I know Zoe and I will spend plenty of time together in coming weeks/months/years. The date on the calendar can’t change that…

-M