Friday was the girls’ last day of school before vacation. I asked Avery – who was nibbling a snowman cookie I got her as a treat and was still wearing pajamas from Brandeis’ traditional pre-break PJ-and-pancake day – for a pic, and she made me laugh by saying, “Put it on Insta and call it Hashtag Winter Break.”

We’re all definitely in need of vacation – well, except perhaps for Zoe, who always gets bummed when there’s no school – and not working and spending uninterrupted family time sounds pretty perfect right now. I’ll be taking a blogging break for a few weeks, but I’ll have lots to share when I’m back.

-M

Three months after my last post on grief, things feel somewhat the same. There are ups and downs: days when I’m feeling relatively good and strong and others when I’m still in disbelief and unable to think about living the rest of my life without my parents around. We’re in the middle of a tough stretch, with Thanksgiving, my mom’s birthday and (now) Christmas within a four-week period; and my work has also been incredibly busy, which hasn’t helped. I’ve come to discover that work stress plus grief aren’t a good mix for me.

Still, the good days are slowly starting to outweigh the bad ones, I think, and my sister and I can do things that we weren’t able to four or five months ago. (She moved into their house at the end of October and is settling in, and we just took care of the last of some financial things.) Q and the girls continue to help me out when I’m having bad moments or days – Zoe and Avery are always there with a hug and an “Are you okay, Mommy?” – and enough sweet things happen that propel me forward.

One such thing: A few weeks ago, Zoe was in the kitchen when we heard a loud noise. Avery went to investigate and reported back to me that I shouldn’t worry, Zoe had only dropped a bunch of (plastic) cups. “And it’s a good thing, Mommy,’ she told me. “When I was talking to Grandma and Grandpa in the shower I had asked them to send me a sign if they could hear me – something like cups dropping.” Somewhat surprised, I asked if she talked to them a lot and she said yes, usually in the shower and about “normal stuff.” Later, I asked if she really thought the cups were from Grandma and Grandpa and she looked at me and said, “Obviously.”

-M

As mentioned before, Maddie’s transition into our family has been pretty seamless. Almost six months after we brought her home, she remains super chill and sweet; she has a few spurts of activity throughout the day but otherwise mostly lounges around and cuddles with us.

Instagram is my social channel of choice these days and as a fun little project we started an account for Maddie, too. Her handle is maddie.b.the.mix – follow along!

-M

For the last few months Avery has worked hard on a social studies project on the first people of California, and she and her classmates presented their work to families last week. (Avery’s focus was the homes of the Chumash people.) From the school newsletter:

“Students worked in groups to study a tribal nation indigenous to one of the regions of California,” explains teacher Valerie Welsh. “The student-driven projects integrated science and the overarching theme of systems.” Within each region of California—desert, central coast, southern coast, central valley, and mountains—students selected a tribal nation to research and then each student selected an area of focus, including homes and dwellings, food, tools and technology, and ceremonies and customs. Then, as a group, students worked together to share information about native plants and birds and to create a mural.

Adds Ms. Welsh, “We strive to use an inquiry-based approach like this cultural center in all subject areas, as students are better able to construct meaning about the world and their place in it. The students presented their information with confidence and excitement.”

-M

Speaking of Maddie, we took her on a little adventure with us over the weekend. Our original plan – to go on a hike at a spot my mom liked, in honor of her birthday – was thwarted when we saw a “No Dogs Allowed” sign. So we kept driving south and wound up stopping at a charming little dog-friendly restaurant in the middle of nowhere and then hitting some nearby parks.

I had been feeling sad about my mom’s birthday and her not being here to celebrate, and I was a bit disappointed things hadn’t gone as planned that day. But when the waitress told us the dessert options after our meal, I perked up: We ended the meal with a piece of cherry pie – my mom’s favorite.

-M

This is a pretty common after-school sight these days: the girls relaxing or reading alongside Maddie.

-M

On the last day of Hanukkah, Avery and her classmates headed to the Contemporary Jewish Museum downtown to put on a little holiday concert; it was the first time the chorus had performed there. I wasn’t there to see it, but I’m told they sang a new take on the “Dreidel Song” called “Spin a Little Dreidel,” as well as a four-part harmony of “Candlelight Canon” and “Sevivon.”

-M

The end of Hanukkah coincided with a neighborhood tradition: a winter festival and a mound of “snow” in the middle of West Portal. Like in years past, the girls stomped around and threw a few snowballs; Maddie (who I’m not sure has ever seen the real stuff) was less amused.

-M

It feels like Hanukkah came early this year; we were just catching our breath after the bat mitzvah, Thanksgiving and Zoe’s birthday when it began. Still, we were ready – and among the early holiday highlights were having friends over to light candles; going to a friend’s house for latkes and making sufganiyot from scratch.

-M

On a recent Saturday, before the fires and before the weather started to cool, I took Maddie and the girls to a new spot: Pine Lake and an accompanying dog park in nearby Stern Grove.

-M

Zoe had a sleepover this weekend  to keep her birthday celebration going. Below, a few pics…

-M